the writer as blogger

no banana for breakfast today, bad idea. gonna do that thing. i feel the need to write more. to write my story. but also just to write about tons of stuff. actually let microsoft word capitalize stuff for me. i'll write the rest of this post in word to give you an idea: no i cant do it. i feel stifled in word.

i finished colossus of new york, now i'm gonna start sixth extinction. being able to read fast is great. ok theres a party tonight, everyones invited, what's gonna happen?, i dont know, it can't be anything but spectacular though. a fete

a soul shakedown party. goodness gracious. i had plans but didn't execute. gotta pick up where i left off. put some of those silly paintings up. stopping is difficult.

i'm really bad at chess. becca heller once asked me to play in wellesley a long time ago. i obliged. i sometimes think of my awful chess playing as an analogy for other things. thinking ahead. seeing ahead. seeing several moves ahead. planning for an opponent. hmm not really. but foresight is a funny thing.

where did this come from, why did this happen, who decided, did it really?, was it necessary?, couldn't it have been...?

angst, joy, angst, angst, rapture, salvation, stasis.

i can't say. i won't. keep it.